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THE RIGHT WAY OF RAISING OUR CHILDREN August 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — muomina @ 03:25
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Children from the age of two they can understand your actions and talk, don’t take advantage and think that they are babies and they cannot understand the things you do in front of them.

  • Be careful with all the things you do in front of your children
  • Be careful with all the things you say in front of your children
  • Be careful with your movements in front of your children

Try to create good relationship with them, as being not just a parent but a friend

Let them feel free to speak their mind, and lead them to the right way and if they talks/speaks what they are not suppose to talk about, like foul words , bad language, try to make them know that is wrong and tell them what they are suppose to be and know.

Discuss with them and try to read his mind , make them understand what is wrong and what is right start doing this ever since he is at the age of one

When you see them touching or playing to things that they are not suppose to,don’t shout and don’t let them, just show them that was wrong but slowly make them understand that this is not for them to play, and show them where it should be placed.

Don’t laugh when they says/do wrong things coz they will think its funny and they will do it again and again, just talk to him and let him understand what they are doing is not right

Let them know they are important and they are loved but don’t let them take advantage of being loved and think they can play with everything.

Teach them to respect people older and younger, it’s the only way to lead them to be a gentleman

Teach them to love , help and care don’t think they are till young , even if they are young but they understand, they will grow up while learning to make good of themselves in order to have good personality.

You have to know this

Children normally, they don’t have the answers, and nobody to tell them, and they also don’t know what to ask. When you had just started a new job and found yourself in that predicament what would you do? Then you ask , what am I supposed to do? And all the people around you shrugs. What would you do? Guess? Take a few stabs in the dark? Why not? Well, children do the same thing, they guess and start doing what comes “naturally.” In other words, whatever they feel like doing. After all, if it comes natural, and feels good, it’s gotta be okay. Right? Childish reasoning, but if it becomes their internal guideline it simply leads to a lot of bad behavior and the “my way is better than your way” attitude, and unfortunately, a lot of yelling and scolding.
Teaching and show them the overriding principles of life that we all live by, and the life skills that make it work, sheds light and understanding on their path, helps them make sense of living anywhere in the world with anyone, which in turn helps them develop their personality, attitude and behavior more than any amount of yelling, scolding, pushing and prodding could ever do. So please follow the steps I am going noted in this blog and you will learn the secret of parenting problems and as soon you know you will know how to prevent your children from bad behaviour and help them grow the right way.
Learning to avoid some of the stumbling locks and pitfalls will not just help you , but also your children, they will grow up holding the pride of being respectfull and respected children, which will help them hit the target in all aspect of life and hold good names all along their life, their future will be bright and they will be thankful to you all their lives, You will also grow into your fullest potential as the wonderful parent you want to be.
The Secret
When I reached 25yrs old I looked back and I could clearly see how it is difficult for a child to experience process of growing up. I asked myself many questions about my childhood I wished I would go back with my present knowledge and just do the right things withut crashing.

Give knowledge to their heart.
Giving knowledge to our childrens hearts is very important as the brain gives one knowledge, but the heart gives it direction and helps life to develope sucssesful skills which brain alone cannot.
If our children will grow up without the emotional balance and steadiness that comes from a knowlegeble heart, they wont gain personality even if they will be super genius. We don’t want to see our children weak in personality though they maybe strong in brain, their life wont be easy and smooth if their heart was not feeded knowledge.
Give a knowledge to our childrens heart is the best thing we can help , it is done by teaching them lifes lessons which will develop good character qualities and many good things such as :
Honesty
Kindness
Integrity
Unselfishness
Doing chores without being told
Helping others
Best conversational skills
Also Don’t forget that…
Why do we have rules and why they have to follow, this is the question your children will ask, so prepare yourself to make them know and fully understand, don’t hide the truth or lie to them because telling and explaining to them it helps a lot to motivate them follow the rules, which will give good result .
They need to know that . . .the way they behave is the way they are treated.
At home: Good or bad behavior earns either the goodwill or anger of the parents and the treatment they get varies accordingly.
Outside the home: If they behave badly or rudely, people draw away from them and don’t want to be their friends. Bad behavior prevents the development of warm and close friendships and can lead to loneliness, depression and other emotional problems. On the other hand, when they behave well people draw close and want to be their friend, resulting in more happiness, greater self confidence, and healthy self esteem.
It is very hard to figure this out if a child was not been tought by parents, and when they grow up they realize this but its too late as many things has passed been damaged due to bad behaviour. So don’t leave it up to chance. Teach them just this one simple concept . . . “The way you behave is the way you are treated” . . . Some people grow up and never get it ,they don’t really understand what is going on between what they do or say and the way people react to them, they just feel offended when things goes wrong and never realize what they do to others.

Let me tell you in brief about my life with my children:

I raised my four boys , Yes four boys imagine how that isnt easy for a single mother! But I managed this , its not because I am genuis or strong , but it’s the way how I dealt with them and how I give a freedom of mind speak, I let them speak their mind and from there I would start making points and explain to them why this is bad and why that is good, I never ask one of them to stay in a bench for an hour beacause he did not do what I asked or he wrong thing, it was always discussion between me and the child that did wrong , we seat on table as if we are going to have lunch , then we would talk about what happened and I would raise questions that goes like “if it was you, would you like to be treated like this?“ or if was you would you like someone to lie to you or tell you the truth?. I didn’t care if our discussion would take my time as I knew the result worth it.
Now my children are 22,21,18 and 14…what iam seing now is a result of what I have put in there for the past 20 years, I am proud when seing them doing the right things, taking care of themselves and me, helping people around them without hasitating or asked,honest and very easy to please them as they are not material type.
The teachings made a major difference, I was sure that one day I will get a result which will make me proud parent. It was as natural the way it was easy to raise them but it wasn’t easy for those who did not use this secret of teaching and explaining to your children while they are still young. Parents should being a friend of your child can solve many obstacle between you and your children, and be serious when it needed is the best way of asking your child to litsen to you and follow your teachings.
Parents themseves have to know that, the way you yourself do and react is the same way your children will follow, so if you were not taught by your parents then atleast try to teach yourself so you can also help your children leading them to the right parth. If you feel your are diferent from many people try to ask and find out what makes you diferent, is it because you are so selfish? Bad? Lie? When you get the answer try to imagine what if your children will follow your steps. It hurts isnt it? So try to change yourself and be what you want your children to be.
if you are a thief and you want your child to be a lawyer, then seat and think and stop stealing. Show your children that you are good person and let your child learn to be a lawyer from home even before going to college.dont tell your son ..son don’t drink while the same time you are asking him to get you one budwiser from the fridge. Atleast not for now! Let them grow in good house not to see dad is coming late at night and singing strange song while his friends grabing and throwing him in living room, then mom is going and remove dads shoes while dad pukes. Is this what we want to see from our children?

Questions from our children


Life is easy if you want it to, children will be asking you many questions , don’t panic or missuse the chance to explain to them, or even if they will not ask but be a teacher always and try to read their mind and answer those invisible questions. Our children wants some help from us in order to put those peaces together. Teaching our children to brush their teeth, shower and such..thats not enough , that is not the only things will be doing in their life, that will not help them know how to deal with people at home and outside, that will not help them gain skills of how to be accepted by family and friends and other outsides. Your children will go to school and maybe be very educated but also that is not all in life, how about a doctor that is rude? How about an engineer who yell and abuse? Would you like to see your child that way? Ofcourse no! so be a teacher at home and show them the right way. Tell your children how what is life all about,how do they fit in,what are the rules, why do they have to do this or that , why and who ,what and why? Who cares and many more…Explain to them everything in detail , its not hard, its easy believe me and they will enjoy it. Its fun if you know how to deal and talk to them.
How do you teach your children to be emotionally balanced? To be good hearted? How do you teach good character qualities and life principles and instill it deep in their hearts? It’s really not as hard as you may think. Kids love it, no, change that to . . . they are hungry for it! Why else would the second graders be willing to give up recess? They really do want to know!

Children loves everyone…have Four sides . . .
1. Physical (The Body)
You feed, clothe and keep them active and in good shape.
2. Mental (The Brain)
You send them to school to be educated.
3. Emotional (The Heart)
It, too, must be educated. Done by the parents at home.
4. Spiritual (Your Faith)
Gives meaning to life. Without it, the other three do not satisfy us.
The above four sides has to be taken and you as parent have to make sure all four sides has been fullfiled. That’s why you are a parent and not caretaker. Try to see yourself as Parent,Teacher,Mentor,Coach and guider
Teachers, Mentors, Coaches and Guides not only teach their students, cheer them on with praise and encouragement, but also critique and correct them.

After eighteen years-
Be careful ; you will never bring back the years, you really don’t get a second chance to go back and fix any mistakes, the will be no more time for you to talk and be listened when they reach that magic age of eighteen, use the chance before it gets too late, use it successfully. When your child gets to eighteen years old , everything changes , you have to understand that he/she is not the same babe you raised, all controls are in their hands after , they’ve change their seat and seat on drivers seat and drive themselves instead of waiting someone else to drive them. Its hard to beliave but “yes you have to accept it“ now the question comes : did you prepared him well? Were you a good teacher ,guider while he/she was young? Now you will see the result of your hard work. If you did a good job your child will be ready to stand by his own feet. And if you were not a good teacher /parent/guide then don’t blame any other than yourself.

Foundation is very important..

In everything in this world lays on foundation , when you want to build a house you must start with strong , concreat foundation in order to build good strong house, and our children needs strong foundation in order to grow health in their heart and brain. Basic things while thy are young..move on slowly add some more concreat till you yourself you can feel yes I did a good job. Such a child will be self motivated and accomplish much. Whereas a lazy child is difficult to teach and accomplishes very little even with considerable pushing and prodding but you do your job and and the rest leave to remain, a day will come when the same child will reaslize what was the beneffit of being lazy.

Prepare your child if you want him to be : In Industrious workers. (Diligent and busy, not slackers or lazy) , Self Starters. (Need no pushing or prodding) , Able to carry a job to its completion. (Including the “finishing touches”) , Doing chores without whining or grumbling. (A complaining child makes life weary, but a cooperative, pleasant child is energizing, and brings harmony and pleasantness into your home) Reaching out to help others, including their own brothers and sisters. (What a priceless quality this is, and how it delights a parent’s heart)

THE SECRET OF VALUABLE LIFE

Everything we want to do or achieve in life requires some kind of sustained effort to achieve it. It’s called WORK! Nothing gets done without it, Do you really want to be saying “Clean up your room” for the next eighteen years? Instill that quality in your child at an early age and think of all the years of frustration you will save. How many mothers do you know who are still telling their kids at 16 or 17 to clean up their rooms or pick up after themselves? How much is a peaceful home and peaceful relationships with your children worth? How many years of stress would that relieve? You will always havest what you planted, and if you planted and forgot to water your plants then its your problem, and if you plant chilli don’t expect to haverst strawberies.
Your House…(Home)

Keep your home peaceful in order to show your children life is beautiful, get together every weekend seat and talk, and sometimes outing with them have a nice dinner and show them love and care, you should NOT fight/argue in front of your children , try to avoid any kind of argument in front of them, It is the basis of harmonious relationships rather than combative ones and you will have a calm and peaceful home – an oasis from the world outside. if you cant talk quietly in your room with your spouse then go out for lunch with your spouse and yell as much as you want but not at home in front of your children.
it really effects the children when parents fights or argue in front of them, what do you expect them to learn from you? Show love as much as possible and avoid showing them your anger to their Dad/Mom.

LIFE IS NOT MESURED BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE,BUT BY THE NUMBER OF MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY.

LIVE ….LOVE…. BREATH

AngelTears

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One Response to “THE RIGHT WAY OF RAISING OUR CHILDREN”

  1. nedhyhold Says:

    I really enjoyed reading your blogpost, keep up making such interesting posts.


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